作者:未知 时间:2016-01-13 阅读:( )
1. 先来一段书里一开头就给出的【太子妃工作描述】
太子妃乃是天下最不好做的行当:
Being a crown princess is the worst job in the world!
第一:升职前景不好,这太子妃、皇后、太后一步步升上去,简直是难于上青天啊!你见过有几个太子妃能一直熬到太后的。
First, you have a slim chance of promotion. Crown princess, empress, empress dowager... Each rung on that ladder is so difficult to climb! Honestly, how many actual examples of a crown princess making it all the way to an empress dowager have you seen?
第二:劳动没有保障,且不说三险一金没有,还随时可能辞退你,而且还不允许你再就业!
Second, you have zero job security! There is no company insurance to speak of, and you may get fired anytime! And if you do get fired, you are not allowed to look for a job ever again!
第三:工作性质危险,随时都有死亡的危险,若是太子称不了帝吧,你得跟着一起倒霉,太子称了帝吧,你还得小心自己一个人倒霉。。
Third, the job is way too dangerous, as you could get killed anytime. If the prince doesn't become the emperor, you will suffer with him. If he does become the emperor, you must be extra careful not to suffer alone...
第四:还要兼职性工作者,虽然劳动强度不会很大,但是,这服务对象……唉!
Fourth, you also need to be a sex worker occasionally. Granted, it's not labor intensive in the traditional sense, but come on, you have to serve GUYS... Yikes!
2. 你让我如何说得出口?尿意毕竟不同酒意,攒不得啊!
How do you expect me to say it out loud? The urge to pee is different from the urge to drink. You have to let it out RIGHT THIS MOMENT!
3. 那人道:“要我是那太子妃,我就也爬墙上做红杏去!”。我接道:“其实她更想爬墙上等红杏去。”
That guy said, "If I were the crown princess, I'd climb up the wall and be a spray of red apricot blossom!"
I said, "In fact, she would rather get up there and wait for the red apricot blossom."
(红杏出墙有“女人出轨”的引申义。"Red apricot blossom reaching over the wall" is Chinese slang for "woman having an affair". Possibly originates from the famous poem 游园不值 by 叶绍翁。"春色满园关不住,一枝红杏出墙来。" With so much spring in the garden , how can it be contained ? A spray of red apricot blossom has already reached over the wall.)
4. 表情很淡定,内心很蛋疼...哦,我忘了,我现在已经没有蛋了,再也不会蛋疼了。
On the outside, I may look calm; but on the inside, my balls freakin' hurt... Oops, I forgot. I don't have balls now...
5. 我低下头用悲愤的目光看着我那饱满的“胸肌”半晌……这要长我媳妇身上,多好!
I looked down in anger and couldn't help but stare at my boobs for a long while... If only they were my wife's knockers!
6. 我便轻声劝他:“你得想开点,凡有点血性的男人,都受不了老婆给自己缝绿帽子戴,你也得理解理解赵王,他这绿帽子一戴都好几年了,也怪不容易的。”。
齐晟睁开了眼,皱眉看向我。。
我又开解他道:“你都穿了人家衣服了,就别怨人家断你手足了。”。
So I tried to placate him. "You need to be a bit more understanding. Any red-blooded man would hate to take a green hat from his wife. Emperor Zhao has been wearing the green hat for years now. It can't be easy for him." (As mentioned above, "green hat" is Chinese slang for "woman cheating on her man". One could say a woman gives a green hat to her man, or a man takes a green hat from his woman.)
Qisheng opened his eyes, looking puzzled.
I explained again, "You have worn his clothes, so don't blame him for trying to take your hands and feet." (A Chinese saying goes, "Brothers are like hands and feet, while wives are like clothes.")
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